It was a titanic success says the government despite evidence to the contrary.
Boris Johnson announces new ‘Clap for Clap for carers’
Look, I need a gimmick to distract people, otherwise they will realise that this shit show is all my fault
Do the quake and Vax, and put the vaccine back
Anti-Vaxxers outraged that the EU want to get their hands on a vaccine that doesn’t work!
The Shite strikes Free Trade Agreement with Mordor
The Shite strikes a Free Trade Agreement with Mordor because it is a long way off and hard to get to
British Fish are as happy as a horse in a lasagne
British Fish are jolly happy to be back in British Waters says over-entitled cockwomble
Hitler explains that he never meant for his followers to organise a putsch
My Proud Boys got a bit carried away, that’s all. I didn’t mean anything by it, it’s not my fault.
Ex-President Trump says “Pardon me while I Pardonnez-Moi”
Ex-President Trump says well, pardonnez-mois
Government launches the COVID Regulations Game Show
COVID Regulations game show where the winners can win an online delivery slot at their supermarket of choice.
FOTUS 20 isn’t going without a tantrum
FOTUS refuses to accept his time is over, he claims 2021 is FAKENEWS and that he is the greatest FOTUS ever!
Nigel Farage promoted to Obergeneralcuntnant in this year’s Honours List
Obergeneralcuntnant Farage will receive his ward at the German Embassy in Buckingham Palace.
Automaton wins the BBC’s annual (Sports) Lack of Personality Award
The annual lack of personality award goes to a colossal dullard.
European BDSM Research Group aren’t getting their punishment
Research Group members left weeping with disappointment after the harsh punishment they were promised was withdrawn.