This will go down a treat in the Tory heartlands and with the Daily Mail, says Priti Patel
Guild of Fairies denies any association with Boris Johnson
The fairies deny any association with Boris Johnson and they are up in arms at the suggestion, the unicorns aren’t too chuffed either.
Shapps introduces conscription to end HGV Driver shortage
Conscription will make the most of teenagers ability to sit on their arse for hours on end, while eating junk food and farting. said Shatts
Amazon Prime hits the jackpot with their new series, Clarkson Takes A Dump
Amazon Prime, really rubbing our noses in it.
Charlie Duckins turns to our Victorian Problem Pages for help and advice
For there is little that troubleth a man more, than an errant wife.
The Boris Johnson apology template to be used by Matt (TFH) Hancock
The official Cabinet Minster Apology Template, currently being used by Matt Hancock
Long lost Charlie Duckins poem discovered in Chatty’s archives
I wish I was your bumble bee, my heart all true and solemn, I’d buzz around your honey-pot and suckle on your pollen
Everyone thinks Minister is a soulless machine as he fails The Turing Test
Audience identifies minsters responses as a machine. Turing left baffled.
BBC News in meltdown as young Prince makes tinkle without Nanny
Meanwhile the mop used to clean the toilet is for sale on EBAY, where a Mr N Witch is winning with a bid of £2,000.
Sir Moore Patrick claims that Astronomy isn’t funny anymore
Astronomy is really boring, I thought there would be aliens and lasers and stuff but it is all just rocks.
“Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious” says Mary Poppins
It’s not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious it’s Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious
New evidence shows Van Gogh-Gogh-Gogh was born in Wales
Ewan Ewan, professional Welsher, is adamant that Van Gogh was proper Welsh and that going to Europe ruined him.