Italy v England, what’s the difference?
Having relegated Middlesbrough, we thought Gareth Southgate was perfect for the England job, says FA Spokesman.
Rumours of The Chatty Chimp’s demise were a little previous
Chatty's back and he's bloody annoyed with England's plastic patriots. You've woken him from his afternoon nap.
“Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious” says Mary Poppins
It's not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious it's Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious
Christmas Truce football match cancelled as angry COVID storms out
I'd already erected the goalposts, painted the lines, and was partway through slicing the oranges.
La Liga offer counselling to victims of Messi
I am considering moving to Manchester United, so I don't have to play him again
Man United crash out of the UEFA LDV Vans Coca-Cola Shield
Man United, booted out of Europe's second most pointless trophy, they don't even have the consolation of a consolation prize…
Quarantined footballer discovers a book
Man Utd player asks for the EPL to be delayed so he can finish his book
Corona Virus upgraded to ‘kin serious now that a football match has been moved
Britain refuses to take Corona Virus seriously until football matches are moved.