Thu. Jun 24th, 2021
Psychic Crystal Ball

The National Association of Seers, Psychics and Mediums (NASPAM), has asked everyone to be on the lookout for fake psychics. Their ‘I Saw You Coming’ report highlights cases where people in great emotional need have been fleeced by predatory, unregistered, con artists.

If you’re concerned your psychic may not be real, and you want to hand over your money to properly accredited fleecers, you should only use NASPAM registered mediums.

In order to become a registered psychic, NASPAM members must have completed a weekend residential course at a cheap seaside hotel. Full accreditation being granted once they’ve paid a hefty fee to The Psychic University. Every student gets their own crystal ball and packet of loose leaf tea.

Graduates must display competence in key psychic skills, such as telling the customer what it says on their Facebook page, being fey and making a series of suitably vague guesses about the blindingly obvious.

If you suspect your psychic may be fake please report them to your local trading standards office. “Don’t go to the police, that’s a can of worms none of us wants to open.” said one practitioner.

We did receive a letter from NASPAM, saying “We knew you were going to write this.”

Professor Brian Cox was unavailable for comment.

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By Sir Drinkalot

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