Priti Patel claims she is innocent after paying off bullying victim
We would like to make it clear that there is no suggestion that an enormous cash pay off in anyway…
Gove confirms he hasn’t got any mates to give PPE contracts to
At times it's hard to be Tory, when you don't have any friends to give fat, juicy, Corona Virus contracts…
Thames Water to use politicians bullshit to power homes
There are plans to extend the renewable energy scheme to Town Halls, Churches and Piers Morgan's studio.
Meghan and Harry announce they are expecting second slice of cake
Meghan and Harry announce that they are going to live a more private life in the full glare of world…
“We did all we could,” says the Captain of Titanic
It was a titanic success says the government despite evidence to the contrary.
Boris Johnson announces new ‘Clap for Clap for carers’
Look, I need a gimmick to distract people, otherwise they will realise that this shit show is all my fault
Daily Express Editor orgasms to death as snow actually arrives
Daily Express Editor dies after suffering a prolonged orgasm brought on by the arrival of winter snow in the UK
Do the quake and Vax, and put the vaccine back
Anti-Vaxxers outraged that the EU want to get their hands on a vaccine that doesn't work!