Let's club together and make sure that no more children have to suffer the shame of admitting Boris is their…

Having relegated Middlesbrough, we thought Gareth Southgate was perfect for the England job, says FA Spokesman.

Chatty's back and he's bloody annoyed with England's plastic patriots. You've woken him from his afternoon nap.

The official Cabinet Minster Apology Template, currently being used by Matt Hancock

Audience identifies minsters responses as a machine. Turing left baffled.

"There's no such thing as a free lunch, I make them pay me to eat it!" says The Blonde Balloon

We would like to make it clear that there is no suggestion that an enormous cash pay off in anyway…

There are plans to extend the renewable energy scheme to Town Halls, Churches and Piers Morgan's studio.