When is an apology not an apology? “Usually when you have done something wrong!” Says Sigmund F
BBC makes a Schrödinger’s Apology to St Gary of Lineker
The left-wing economic establishment brought me down, cries Liz Truss
It’s not my fault! cries a deluded Li, as the internet passes comment with some of this year’s best memes.
I’m a Tory Get Me Out of Here!
Just when you think that government can’t get any worse, they manage to prove you wrong. What a shower.
Britain’s remaining Tory voter to turn out the lights
“You don’t get something for nothing unless your mates with ministers, oligarchs, crooks and posh boys from Eton. It’s the British way. says Derek.
The Pound achieves parity with The Peanut
As The Pound continues to plummet, the price of peanuts has been rising steadily. Nuts are seen as the safer option for investors.
Boris Johnson to be elevated to Sainthood
“Finally, someone appreciates everything I have done.” Says St Boris of Bumbletown, patron saint of liars, cheats and swindlers.
James Webb Telescope unable to find Brexit Benefits
On the plus side, we did find Priti Patel’s compassion hidden on a barren rock 4.4 billion light years away.
Brexit Opportunities Minister makes the most of his opportunity to sell the Pound
Look, if one can do it, anyone can do it, says the man selling Britain, as fast as he can, “It’s a great opportunity”
Priti Patel opens Pop Up Taco Bar to help Ukrainian Refugees
“Why would we bother spying? We recruited most of your civil servants, bought the government and even have our man in the Lords!” says Vlad the Bad
Rats flee sinking ship as party boat springs a leak
The Party Boat, HMS Moronic, crashes into ice berg, rats flee to save their own skins.
Boris reassures the nation’s kids that there is no shortage of Xmas toys
Of course there is a shortage of Xmas toys, Boris has bought them all for his kids!
UN Criticises Priti Patel for using Doctor’s receptionists to repel migrants
This will go down a treat in the Tory heartlands and with the Daily Mail, says Priti Patel
The Chatty Chimp 