“There’s no such thing as a free lunch, I make them pay me to eat it!” says The Blonde Balloon
“We did all we could,” says the Captain of Titanic
It was a titanic success says the government despite evidence to the contrary.
Government launches the COVID Regulations Game Show
COVID Regulations game show where the winners can win an online delivery slot at their supermarket of choice.
Vaccines Front-Man disputes he’s 94% effective
94% effectiveness is a slur on the Vaccines good name! We always give total satisfaction, guaranteed.
The Government are to furlough the lack of opposition parties
No, it’s not a threat to democracy, it is not like they are doing anything anyway.
Thatcher stops spinning in her grave as Boris becomes most hated PM
Margaret Thatcher has stopped spinning in her grave now that Johnson has taken her title.
Boris plans to build a Nightingale Hotel on the banks of the Styx
Plans are afoot to build a huge Nightingale hotel on the banks of the River Styx, to cope with queues for post BREXIT afterlife transcendence. On January 1st 2021, freedom of transcendence […]
The Great Fire of London to stop the spread of Corona Virus
Using a great fire to make people homeless is a small price to pay for making me even richer, says Sir Richard Head.
Three of the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse are in quarantine
Corona Virus pandemic has forced three of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse into self-isolation Death, however, is still at work.
Everyone is to be issued with a Zorb ball
Everyone will get a Zorbing Ball, that way they can socially distance, stay safe and save the plastics industry.
Government to boost national mood with Meh! Britannia, Spitfire production and Jingoism
Spitfire production will restart in Swindon, when the Honda factory closes down. Britannia will rule again.
Track and Trace find’s Lord Lucan
Look at what we have found, A left-sided English mid-fielder, Lord Lucan and the rest of Boris’s children