What’s the point of being a rich, powerful, connected, white-man if you can’t do who the hell you like?
Ex-Prince Andrew pays out millions despite having done nothing wrong
Queen’s funeral plans released, British tat makers say “Kerching, Ma’am”
As Britain contemplates life under King Charlie, souvenir tea towel makers are ramping up production.
BBC News in meltdown as young Prince makes tinkle without Nanny
Meanwhile the mop used to clean the toilet is for sale on EBAY, where a Mr N Witch is winning with a bid of £2,000.
Track and Trace Consultants are ‘Geo’ cashing in
It’s a brilliant solution, we can sit back and trouser the readies while unpaid volunteers do all the work, kerching!
Meghan and Harry announce they are expecting second slice of cake
Meghan and Harry announce that they are going to live a more private life in the full glare of world wide publicity.
Nigel Farage promoted to Obergeneralcuntnant in this year’s Honours List
Obergeneralcuntnant Farage will receive his ward at the German Embassy in Buckingham Palace.
Prince Andrew’s disastrous appearance on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
Opting to call a friend, Liz from Windsor she answered “One doesn’t know anyone of that name, please don’t call here again!”
Queen to give up 30% of her income to help out the less fortunate
The cut means that the minor Royals will have to be furloughed until the crisis is over.
Positive test for Charlie
After working from homes, Charlie, The Prince of Wales, has isolated himself in Scotland
Prince Harry granted asylum in Canada as he flees his angry Gran
Fleeing persecution from his angry Gran, Prince Harry has been granted political asylum in Canada.
Terrorists think attacking Prince Andy will harm their reputation
Terrorists think attacking Prince Andy will harm their reputation so security services have removed his personal protection squad.
Harry and Meghan withdraw from full time Royalling
Harry and Meghan have left the family firm and are starting out on their own. He’s handy with a spanner and she’ll be great at selling on QVC
The Chatty Chimp 