Astronomy is really boring, I thought there would be aliens and lasers and stuff but it is all just rocks.
Other countries look at Britain and think, ‘What are those guys on? Can we get some?’
The mould evolved after the internet enabled fridge accessed Google
You sacks of water are a real puzzle, killing each other and breeding replacements, make your mind up.. Says AI
Have you seen a vampire? No, well that’s proof that it works!
The Stonehenge will give real-time data. If it’s wet, there’s rain about, shady it’ll be sunny and if a top stone is on the ground there’ll be a bit of a blow
Why is the first Monday after payday and dry January the sickest day of the year? Scientists are baffled.
Doctors plan to solve Britain’s sperm bank shortage by raising the dead. In a boost for fertility clinics, sperm will be collected from the dead and dying.
I want people to feel that when they are eating my muff we are both connected through the essential mother universe
Man with a slight head cold insists he is on the verge of death, whilst his wife is less than sympathetic.
Scientists are investigating how often you can call a politician an arse before he realises he is one? and how long before he does something about it?
The Nobel Prize for Sciencing goes to Gwyneth Paltrow and her groundbreaking work with her company, Gloop. Proving looks trumps brains, every time.