Having relegated Middlesbrough, we thought Gareth Southgate was perfect for the England job, says FA Spokesman.

Chatty's back and he's bloody annoyed with England's plastic patriots. You've woken him from his afternoon nap.

It's not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious it's Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious

I am considering moving to Manchester United, so I don't have to play him again

Man United, booted out of Europe's second most pointless trophy, they don't even have the consolation of a consolation prize…

Now matter how hard I try, it turns out that I am really shite, admits Professional Footballer, 110% is not…

No other country has come in with a bid for Boris, even America would rather stick with Donald

Man Utd player asks for the EPL to be delayed so he can finish his book