“Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious” says Mary Poppins
It's not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious it's Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious
ITV airs three hours of silence in memory of Piers Morgan
Piers Morgan quits Good Morning Britain after being beaten up by the weatherman.
Government launches the COVID Regulations Game Show
COVID Regulations game show where the winners can win an online delivery slot at their supermarket of choice.
Automaton wins the BBC’s annual (Sports) Lack of Personality Award
The annual lack of personality award goes to a colossal dullard.
Babs bars Jesus from The Pearly Gates pub
I'm not having it, you can't go around asking women if they are virgins, not in my pub
Masterchef cancelled as Britain runs out of ruddy ducks!
Spatch left the competition after his duck failed to impress the judges. The duck wasn't too keen on him either.
NASA beaten by Ant and Dec on launch day
If NASA were more willing to get in a bath full of live rats, or spend a night in Newport,…
Sound engineer lost in TV garden makeover maze for three years
He has been living on grubs and berries and collecting water in an old wellie boot!