At times it's hard to be Tory, when you don't have any friends to give fat, juicy, Corona Virus contracts…

It was a titanic success says the government despite evidence to the contrary.

Look, I need a gimmick to distract people, otherwise they will realise that this shit show is all my fault

Anti-Vaxxers outraged that the EU want to get their hands on a vaccine that doesn't work!

The impact on social media micro-advertising is expected to be dramatic.

I'd already erected the goalposts, painted the lines, and was partway through slicing the oranges.

No, it's not a threat to democracy, it is not like they are doing anything anyway.

Livers in open revolt, as lockdown drinking hits the roof! "Get a hboby and stop the abuse" they cry!