The official Cabinet Minster Apology Template, currently being used by Matt Hancock
At times it’s hard to be Tory, when you don’t have any friends to give fat, juicy, Corona Virus contracts to.
It was a titanic success says the government despite evidence to the contrary.
Look, I need a gimmick to distract people, otherwise they will realise that this shit show is all my fault
Anti-Vaxxers outraged that the EU want to get their hands on a vaccine that doesn’t work!
The impact on social media micro-advertising is expected to be dramatic.
I’d already erected the goalposts, painted the lines, and was partway through slicing the oranges.
No, it’s not a threat to democracy, it is not like they are doing anything anyway.
Livers in open revolt, as lockdown drinking hits the roof! “Get a hboby and stop the abuse” they cry!
There is a risk that the highest tax burden will fall on those working hardest to avoid paying any!
I grew up with him, so you get used to it, but it’ no fun for the rest of the family.
Fat Santa ordered to shield from Corona Virus as his weight, diet and lifestyle means he’s in the high-risk group.