Liz, it was your policy, you announced it, the least you can do is understand it!
“No more flying to the Caymans to hide my money when I can just pootle along the M20 to hide my money” says Benefit Claimant.
As The Pound continues to plummet, the price of peanuts has been rising steadily. Nuts are seen as the safer option for investors.
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, in comes Liz Truss.
“Finally, someone appreciates everything I have done.” Says St Boris of Bumbletown, patron saint of liars, cheats and swindlers.
Fed up with looking foolish every time she opens her mouth, Thick Lizzie plans to copy Boris and hide in a fridge when the going gets tough.
On the plus side, we did find Priti Patel’s compassion hidden on a barren rock 4.4 billion light years away.
Look, if one can do it, anyone can do it, says the man selling Britain, as fast as he can, “It’s a great opportunity”
That’ll show ’em says classic car enthusiast and peace protestor, Ian Napton
“Why would we bother spying? We recruited most of your civil servants, bought the government and even have our man in the Lords!” says Vlad the Bad
Putin’s invasion of Ukraine is just an audition for the role of Bond Villain that got a bit out of hand.
The Party Boat, HMS Moronic, crashes into ice berg, rats flee to save their own skins.