Chatty's back and he's bloody annoyed with England's plastic patriots. You've woken him from his afternoon nap.

Audience identifies minsters responses as a machine. Turing left baffled.

We would like to make it clear that there is no suggestion that an enormous cash pay off in anyway…

There are plans to extend the renewable energy scheme to Town Halls, Churches and Piers Morgan's studio.

Look, I need a gimmick to distract people, otherwise they will realise that this shit show is all my fault

The Shite strikes a Free Trade Agreement with Mordor because it is a long way off and hard to get…

British Fish are jolly happy to be back in British Waters says over-entitled cockwomble

My Proud Boys got a bit carried away, that's all. I didn't mean anything by it, it's not my fault.