“This song is incredibly insensitive, with its insidious subtext and elitist culture” says woke singleton, Paul
‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ slammed for encouraging lockdown breaches
Does Rupert Bear sh*t in the woods? …erm…Yes, he does
You can take the bear out of the woods, but when it comes to taking the wood out of the bear, there is only one place to do it.
Livers urge owners to stop drinking and get a lockdown hobby
Livers in open revolt, as lockdown drinking hits the roof! “Get a hboby and stop the abuse” they cry!
Sound engineer lost in TV garden makeover maze for three years
He has been living on grubs and berries and collecting water in an old wellie boot!
Humans kicked out of Ape family in disgrace
Humans booted out of the Ape tribe. “Strategically shaved idiot, more like” says Ape
Chatty urges you to Clap for the Clapped Out Clappers
It started as a good idea but now its got out of hand, people were even out clapping for politicians that a month ago they would have burned at the stake.
Highgate Head claims being a ‘Shakra and Vibration Guru’ doesn’t qualify you as a key worker
Look after your own bloody child says stressed out head and take your bloody crystals with you
After 2 days in lockdown, a couple married for 30 years are to divorce
How does her brain keep going, filled with all that rubbish, it just flows out of her, 24/7
As the toilet paper shortage begins to bite, Greta Thunberg urges people to recycle
“Please recycle your used bog roll, save the planet and don’t destroy my future” says Greta
Man described by friends as ‘absolutely mental’ diagnosed as ‘a bit of a prat’
People with this condition tend to become office jokers, unwanted party guests or breakfast tv presenters.
The Psychotic Gunman of The Year Award goes to …
And the award for the ’employee thought most likely to machine gun a roomful of colleagues’ is…
Hipster traumatised after buying coffee from a chain
Millennial Hipster, Skye Nation was left traumatised after buying coffee from a coffee chain.
The Chatty Chimp 