Let’s club together and make sure that no more children have to suffer the shame of admitting Boris is their Dad.
Charitable Chatty raises funds to buy Boris a lifetime supply of condoms
Foot injury claims against Lego jump to a record high
“ooyabastidfookinell” yield Dad as he made the classic error of walking across his child’s bedroom in his socks
Xmas cheer as Lockdown means Uncle Jack isn’t coming for Xmas
I grew up with him, so you get used to it, but it’ no fun for the rest of the family.
Fantasy Theme Park visit doesn’t have a happy ending
It was pink and glittery as advertised, but the skin looked suspiciously like spandex.
Lockdown divorce after husband wins the love of his wife’s cat
Well, if he wants him, he can have him, I’m off to get a puppy!
Cupid issues a public apology to Carrie Symonds
“I’ll get myself down to Specsavers, should have gone there in the first place” says Cupid
Satan announces delight at impending fatherhood
Satan announces impending fatherhood, “Being able to pass on the family business will leave more time to work on my golf handicap” he says.
Prince Harry granted asylum in Canada as he flees his angry Gran
Fleeing persecution from his angry Gran, Prince Harry has been granted political asylum in Canada.
Grandad sent to a home after buying a copy of The Daily Mail
One family packed Grandad off to an Old Folks Home after he came home from the shops with a copy of The Daily Mail. “The shame of it!”, said his daughter.
Doctor confirms patient doesn’t have dementia, he’s just thick
A Doctor has told a relieved family that Dad doesn’t have dementia, it’s just that he’s thick. The technical term is ‘Thickius Asmincius’.
Weekend ruined after two mates meet up for ‘a quick one’
Family weekend ruined after two mates meet up for ‘a quick one’.
Ian Napton hadn’t seen Andy for some time, so they agreed to meet for a ‘quick one’ after work. Both assured family, friends and work colleagues that they’d just meet up for an hour, have a couple of pints then head home for dinner to enjoy a busy weekend with their families.
Gillian Napton takes up the story “They turned up at 4 in the morning, completely legless. Ian was hungry so he tried to make cheese on toast, he ruined the grill and set off the fire alarm. The prats then fell asleep watching Bullseye re-runs. If he says, ‘Here’s what you would have won!’ one more time I’ll swing for him. A quick one my arse! they’ve spoiled the whole family’s weekend.”
The two idiots got back to Ian’s in the early hours of the morning, after he had assured Andy that “Gillian won’t mind! She’d love to see you again!” and “Yes, she’s always wanted a cat, it’ll make a lovely gift!”.
Gillian made a very hungover Ian clean up the kitchen, take the children to swimming club and book a spa break for her and her bestie by way of apology. Andy is enjoying a long period of silence, whilst he waits for his wife to calm down.
Both the boys vowed never to go for ‘a quick one’ again.
After finding out his wedding day was ‘The Best Day of His Life’ Groom gives up
After finding out his wedding day was ‘The Best Day of His Life’ Groom gives up
The Chatty Chimp 