Having relegated Middlesbrough, we thought Gareth Southgate was perfect for the England job, says FA Spokesman.
Italy v England, what’s the difference?
Rumours of The Chatty Chimp’s demise were a little previous
Chatty’s back and he’s bloody annoyed with England’s plastic patriots. You’ve woken him from his afternoon nap.
“Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious” says Mary Poppins
It’s not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious it’s Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious
Automaton wins the BBC’s annual (Sports) Lack of Personality Award
The annual lack of personality award goes to a colossal dullard.
La Liga offer counselling to victims of Messi
I am considering moving to Manchester United, so I don’t have to play him again
Man United crash out of the UEFA LDV Vans Coca-Cola Shield
Man United, booted out of Europe’s second most pointless trophy, they don’t even have the consolation of a consolation prize in Le Consolation cup.
Wombles run rampant on Wimbledon Common
The horny little buggers have too much time on their paws and the result is that they are making more wombles.
“I give 110%, but it turns out I am shite!” says Professional Footballer
Now matter how hard I try, it turns out that I am really shite, admits Professional Footballer, 110% is not enough!
Premier League season to be finished using Subbuteo
Subbuteo, where players can’t fall down, the ref’s word is law and there is an awful lot of flicking going on.
Anger simmers in the suburbs
Golf, golf, golf, that is all he thinks about! I’m sure he prefers his golfing buddies to me!
Priti Patel to fight for UFC title under the name Paticake
“I can take those bitches down. I eat pussies like you for breakfast” says Paticake
Corona Virus upgraded to ‘kin serious now that a football match has been moved
Britain refuses to take Corona Virus seriously until football matches are moved.
The Chatty Chimp 