The annual lack of personality award goes to a colossal dullard.

I am considering moving to Manchester United, so I don't have to play him again

Man United, booted out of Europe's second most pointless trophy, they don't even have the consolation of a consolation prize…

The horny little buggers have too much time on their paws and the result is that they are making more…

Now matter how hard I try, it turns out that I am really shite, admits Professional Footballer, 110% is not…

Subbuteo, where players can't fall down, the ref's word is law and there is an awful lot of flicking going…

Golf, golf, golf, that is all he thinks about! I'm sure he prefers his golfing buddies to me!

"I can take those bitches down. I eat pussies like you for breakfast" says Paticake