Sir LancelotMonkey News

Boris de Pfeffel Johnson is the reincarnation of Sir Lancelot du Lac claims spiritualist

Spiritualist claims that Boris de Pfeffel Johnson is the reincarnation of Sir Lancelot du Lac, heroic knight, legendary swordsman, jouster and jester.

Spiritualist, fortune teller and seer beyond the veil, Zofia Napattoni, believes that Boris Johnson is the reincarnation of the heroic knight, Sir Lancelot.

Ancient myth says that when Britain is threatened a hero will come to lead the people to safety and, according to Zofia, Boris is the man.

Ms Napattoni points out that like Sir Lancelot, Boris is a member of a rich powerful elite with a penchant for stabbing his friends in the back and sleeping with their wives and girlfriends.

Communicating through the Crystal Ball Sir Gawain The Green, confirmed to Zofia that Boris is a reincarnation of Sir Lancelot. “Look at them, they’re just the same, Lancey was always playing the bubble-headed fool. He’d sit there painting slogans on his model carts but as soon as you turned away he’d be in bed with your sister. Couldn’t leave him alone with a woman for a minute.”

“And don’t get me started with the whole bridge thing, what is it with their obsession with bridges? If they aren’t building them or holding quiz nights, they’re burning them.”

Meanwhile King Arthur turned in his grave.

When asked for some evidence of her extra-ordinary claims Zofia said “Don’t mock me sunshine, there are forces at work here that you don’t understand”.

Professor Brian Cocks also commented on the story “It might be true, it’s no more ludicrous than anything else that has gone on lately.”

Categories:Monkey News

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