EBDSM Research Group unpunishedMonkey Life

NHS Staff to be fitted with Gimp Suits to meet PPE shortage

Following criticism that they have failed to provide sufficient, suitable, protective equipment for front line NHS staff, the Government has announced an exclusive deal for Anne Summers to supply a range of gimp wear.

Overwhelming NHS evidence shows that staff have insufficient protective clothing, and what they do have isn’t up to WHO standard. In response, the Government said it was doing very well, and this was all part of the plan.

Professor Ian Napton, a Government expert, has confirmed that we must use all available resources to combat the spread of the virus. Hence the introduction of fetish wear.

Several cabinet ministers were able to confirm that latex, all over gimp suits and masks, provided an impenetrable barrier. They also commented on the durability, ease of cleaning and the competitive pricing of Anne Summers Specialist range.

Mark Francois said “I’ve tried it, it’s very snug, I’d like to see the bastard virus get through one of those.”

Mark Francois
Mark Francois

Under the deal, Anne Summers will provide a range of fetish wear at cost. The sexy store is certain that it can meet the anticipated demand, even if they have to whip the staff into a frenzy to do it.

The Government now plan to launch a National Appeal asking for donations of diving suits, Welder’s masks and space suits, in order to help protect key workers.

NASA Astronaut
NHS front line PPE

Categories:Monkey Life, Monkey News, Politics

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