Lord Justice Ian Napton has clarified an earlier court ruling by confirming that politicians lie, you know they lie so it’s your own fault if you believe anything they say.

The landmark ruling came about after Mark Taylor got fed up with being lied too. He crowd-funded a court action, in order to try to hold, just, one politician to account. Mr Taylor argued that as a politician is a servant of the people, they had a duty to act honestly and failure to do so was ‘mis-conduct in a public office’.

Speaking through tears of laughter, Justice Napton said “Stop, stop, you’re killing me here! Of course politicians lie, if they didn’t they’d never get anything done. I can’t see that you have anything to moan about, it’s not as though someone like you is going to change anything. No, you can’t bring a criminal prosecution against a politician for lying, if you could they would all be in the dock. It’s a bit like accusing a toad of being slimey.”

He went on to add, “I was at Eton with Bozo and he’s always been like that. When he was fagging he’d always have some story ready to explain why he hadn’t toasted your crumpets or should be excused bottle-cock polishing duty. It’s just who he is.”

Mr Taylor said he had considered an appeal but felt that it would only make the lawyers richer and as they were at school with Bozo too, it was not something he was inclined to do.