Gateway to NarniaMonkey News

As Johnson takes over record numbers attempt to flee to Narnia

A record number of call outs to the London Fire Brigade, has sparked an urgent investigation. 

After an epic volume of incidents, where victims became trapped in their wardrobes, ‘heat stroke and confusion’, were thought to be the prime suspects. 

On closer inspection however, it became evident that the casualties were in fact, ‘attempting to escape to Narnia.’ 

Following Boris Johnson’s ascension to Prime Minister, many disillusioned voters, felt that ‘the world had gone mad, so if you can’t beat them, join them.’ 

Recovering from his closet ordeal, Ian Napton mused, ‘I’m sure I will wake up soon and this will all be a bad dream. I wouldn’t trust the man with his personal hygiene, let alone a government.’ 

Similar views were shared with other injured parties from the general electorate, who remained in a ‘state of shock and bewilderment.’ 

Responding to Johnson’s opening speech, Napton voiced his bemusement, ‘He may as well have promised unicorns and fairy dust, as there’s just as much chance of that materialising. I’m off to take my chances with Aslan and the Ice Queen.’ 

The emergency services remain on red alert.

Meanwhile Brexit continues

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