On Tuesday we sensationally revealed the dramatic appointment of Tommy Robinson to the Board of Aryan Air. However, in the fast moving world of international business he has been sensationally dismissed, to be replaced by local bad boy Sir Phillip Green.

The Chairman of Aryan Air, Mick O’Deary, said, “Obviously we need to have the best man for the job and looking at his particular skill set we thought Fat Phil was the man.”

It’s thought the public endorsement of Lordy Lord, at a recent sitting of The House of Lords, swayed Micky’s view and led him to approach Fat Phil.

It’s understood that Sir Phil is a modest man, preferring a low profile. He’s so committed to keeping his work from the public eye that he recently got the courts to help.

Lordy Lord didn’t agree with the courts and was keen that everyone should know what Sir Phil had been up to, so he used Parliamentary Privilege to tell the nation about this remarkable man.

When Mr O’Deary heard about the allegations of sexual and racial harassment, bullying, intimidation, dodgy financial dealings, tax avoidance and pensioner mugging  and thought “That’s the man for me.”

He went on to explain, “Whilst we thought Tommy reflected our values and beliefs, and we want to thank him for the very hard two days work he put in, there’s no substitute to for experience and Sir Phillip has been at it for years.