Monkey News

Orkney Islands safe again after Billy-Bob Bob IV tracks down and kills a Flossie with an Automatic Rifle

Hunter-ShutterstockThe Orkney Islanders can sleep safely in their beds again, after the vicious grass eating sheep, Flossie, was heroically slain by the legendary  American hunter, Billy-Bob Bob IV.

The sleepy sheep had terrorised the residents of Hoy by eating grass and aimless wandering, before having an annual haircut. Islanders said Flossie was “a bit of a local landmark as there’s not much else to do here and she’s the best looking sheep on the island.”

In stepped Blood Thirsty Tours Inc to save the day. Billy-Bob Bob IV is one of their  richest and most famous hunters. He’d spent the previous three weeks, shooting fish in a barrel so this was a nice change.

The company organised everything on the trip,  visa’s, travel, hotels and shipping Billy Bob’s favourite Fully Automatic Rifle from Texas. It meant a lot to Billy-Bob, he’d had it since junior school.

As it was too much trouble to crawl across wild terrain, follow animal tracks and conceal himself from his prey, Billy-Bob drove to Flossie’s Field and set up a field of fire 30 feet from where the vicious Flossie, was enjoying a particularly good chew.

With his favourite rifle on full automatic, he blasted away like an American teenager in a school cafeteria, making short work of Flossie.

Billy-Bob posed for pictures with his fallen foe, promising to have Flossie stuffed and mounted in his den and claiming this was “some awesome hunting” and a “tale to tell the boys over a beer”.

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