Mon. Jul 4th, 2022

Satan has called in management consultants after external auditors failed to find any evidence of fraud in Hell’s annual accounts. 

Satan is said to be incandescent with rage after receiving a tax demand from HMRC. A restructure of the demonic hierarchy is said to be in the pipeline, with several mid level demonic positions under review. A demon who wishes to remain anonymous told the Chimp “The Chief Financial Demon has been thrown to the dogs; well technically one dog but Cerberus does have three heads” 

In a media statement Beelzebub said that the Board of Demons could not understand how an organisation full of embezzlers, fraudsters, bent accountants, investment bankers and politicians had failed to evade the tax man; given that they managed it when they were alive. He went on to say “I’ve certainly put aside a demon for them”. 

HMRC refused to comment, saying that as no law had been broken it was an internal issue for Hell and as some of them might end up there they didn’t want to antagonise anybody.


By Simian MacAque

Simian, sits and looks at the world and wonders, how the hell did they become the dominant species?

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!