Sun. Sep 19th, 2021
Body in Nightingale Hospital

Plans are afoot to build a huge Nightingale hotel on the banks of the River Styx, to cope with queues for post BREXIT afterlife transcendence.

On January 1st 2021, freedom of transcendence ends and the eternal spirits of the departed will need the correct visa to enter the underworld. The UK government is anticipating that only a minority of people that shuffle off their mortal coil will have completed the necessary paperwork.

Flashing a blue passport just won’t cut it; so we’ll have to put them somewhere whilst they go through the application process.

Demonic Cummings, Lord of The Undead

The contract to build the Nightingale hotel has been awarded to SOULCO under the government SCAM process.

SOULCO have great experience in this sector: They pitched the tent for Boris’ Scottish Holiday Cottage.

Matt Hancock, Minister for Cock Up’s

There is also the problem of increased ferry tariffs to cross the Styx. Chris Grayling was supposed to negotiate a free trade deal with Styx ferry operator, Charon; but talks failed because Grayling used a Monopoly set instead of a Ouija board and ended up bankrupt.


By Simian MacAque

Simian, sits and looks at the world and wonders, how the hell did they become the dominant species?

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!