Monkey News

“Let’s help those that are helping themselves,” says Think Tank

A right-wing, tax dodging, think tank has put forward a radical proposal to help those suffering under COVID regulations.

There is a risk that a higher tax burden will fall hardest on those making the greatest effort to avoid paying any! Something must be done!

Ian Napton, Right-wing wank tank spokesman.

The wank tank suggest they can create greater wealth for themselves, drive the economy forward and increase international trade with a radical plan. Apparently, the reintroduction of coal-fired central heating could fix the problem.

Mr Trump has invented very clean coal. If we bring in this cheap American coal, then we can reinvigorate the chimney sweeping business. And that will provide gainful employment for thousands of starving children, who can’t afford to feed themselves. That should shut up Marcus ‘bloody’ Rashford.

A deluded Mr Napton.

The wank tank point out that this will necessitate a Free Trade Agreement with the USA. This can be achieved by ‘selling our souls’. It won’t be the first time.

Critics of the scheme claim that it will increase pollution, decimate nursery schools, and return the country to Dickensian levels of destitution.

That’s the idea. Bloody Millenials, they’re such dramatic snowflakes: It’s not like we are selling their kids into slavery… although that could be a profitable side-line.


Categories:Monkey News, Politics

Tagged as: , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s