Nominees for the British Constructions Awards Project Of The Year Award have complained to the show’s organisers that “there’s no point in even turning up now.”

Those in line for the prestigious prize have protested that the hole dug by construction newcomer Gregg Wallace is so deep that even seasoned project managers can’t compete.

“We were impressed by Wallace digging that sort of hole in such little time and it was clear that he was a serious contender at our annual Awards. But then within only a day, he’d doubled the size of the hole. We worry he’ll never climb out of it.”

“As a middle-class man of a certain age, I can’t see that he’s done anything wrong,” a spokesman for Reform told us. Let’s face it. Boris Johnson’s done much worse.”

The BBC has decided not to broadcast the Christmas episode of Masterchef, replacing it instead with a nostalgic look back at the best of Jim’ll Fix It.

Meanwhile, sex-hungry middle-aged men justify themselves in videos posted on Instagram.