Monkey Business

Police bring in Inspector Clouseau to assist with the investigation into fraud at Patisserie Valerie

Upmarket tea and cake shop, Patisserie Valerie, has recently fallen into Administration, when some donut realised there was £40 million pounds missing from the bank account.

Chief Inspector Ian Napton, explained, “Although Patisserie Valerie are a British Company, they’ve a French name so we thought it would be a good idea to bring in continental thinking to help us work out who has had their finger in the pie.”

The French Police, showing a remarkable spirit of co-operation, were delighted to help and immediately agreed to send their best man, Inspector Clouseau, to assist.

This isn’t the first time the two forces have worked together. Over the years there have been many successful investigations involving British detectives; Father Brown, Sherlock Holmes, Shoestring, Bergerac and even Taggart, ‘”C’était un meurtre” , have all pursued crime in France.

Meanwhile France’s greatest detective was adjusting to life with The Met, and already getting to grips with the lingo, “Bon Soir, me ol china, Zis case, how you say? It will be un piece of cake” he told waiting reporters.

Executives at Patisserie Valerie, welcomed the appointment of Monsieur Clouseau, with laughter, champagne and a selection of canapes. “If professional auditors and the SFO couldn’t catch us, what chance has this clown? ” said one.

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