Trump in temper tantrumMonkey Business

The left-wing economic establishment brought me down, cries Liz Truss

As a result of an in-depth, behind-the-scenes investigation, Liz Truss has revealed that her government was undermined and brought down by the left-wing economic establishment. The evidence was collected, reported and revealed by the world’s most tenacious and respected international investigative journalist, Liz Truss. (A Pulitzer awaits, surely?).

In 2022, armed with a degree in general studies and with the expertise for numbers that comes from being the daughter of a noted Mathematician, Liz Truss rolled out Trussonomics (Not only a made-up word but also a made-up economic policy!). With the support of her Chancellor and Cabinet of Curiosities, she single-handedly launched Trussonomics on the population.

Within days she had cost the taxpayer somewhere between £70-£100 Billion. The loss is so vast they are still counting it. She collapsed the pound, hiked interest rates and sent government borrowing through the roof. When her position became untenable, the government decided it was all her fault, which it was.

But now, sensationally, she has revealed it was not her fault. No, not one bit of it! The responsibility lies with the left-wing economic establishment, which conspired against her! The bastards!

It turns out that the bankers, traders, and corporate backers that managed to wreck the world economy in 2008, and have now ruined Britain’s, are a bunch of left-wing commie pinkos. The short-sellers, hedge fund managers and market makers are disciples of Marx, Trotsky and Gramsci. The LSE, IMF, BoE, OBR, DFS, ECB etc., were all part of a left-wing establishment plot to stop Trussenomics. The conspirators wanted to ensure that we went back to a left-wing government that; cuts spending on the poor, gives tax breaks to big business, protects the rich, and wants people to work harder, for longer hours and further into their retirement for less money. The Socialist bastards.

Between meetings, they lie back and chill to The Internationale, Songs from The Little Red Book and some Billy Bragg. Pictures of Che Guevara, Fidel Castro and Chairman Mao adorn their offices, where they plan the economic takeover of the world.

Liz revealed that the left-wing trots are hoarding all this wealth. Their master plan is to make as much money as possible by short-selling, betting against the pound and asset-stripping anything with a cash value. They cunningly plan to bring down the government by withholding tax and storing as much as they can of their ill-gotten gains overseas.  

“It’s not fair; they weren’t supposed free market economics against me. I am a visionary; I could have been Queen. I’ve got a Blue Peter badge, you know.” Said Liz Truss (Deluded Mentalist).

Meanwhile, your government continues.