Monkey Life

La Republique declares a state of emergency after stereotypical Frenchman admits he cannot satisfy women

France was thrown into an identity crises, when one of their stereotypical celebrities admitted he was unable to satisfy women. He admitted to finding sexy, confident, intelligent and beautiful women to be too intimidating.

Quelle surprise! Tell us something we don’t know.” admitted Frenchwomen everywhere.

As a result of this startling admission, Frenchmen have been questioning both, their masculinity and their status as the World’s second greatest lovers.

The Government have said no effort will be spared in finding a cure for this malaise. “La Femme di France must be satisfied” claimed the French President.

As an interim measure the state has authorised the release of a Lapin Rampant, plus extra batteries, to every woman in France and a request has been made to the Italian government to provide emergency lovers. Madame Macron was said to be delighted.

Italian Casanova, Gianni Napatone, said he was honoured to come to the assistance of all French women, for they are amongst the most beautiful in all the world and they’ve had to suffer for years with the inadequacy of Frenchmen.

It appears this admission of sexual inadequacy has left the honour of La Republic, like its women, unsatisfied.

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