Thu. Oct 29th, 2020
God says 'I'm not cleaning up'

Not long ago, I was made aware of Republican congressman Tim Wahlberg’s comment that “God would ‘take care of climate change if it becomes a real problem’”.

Now I just want to assure Timbo that climate change is, in fact “a real problem”. Hurricanes, wildfires, sea levels rising, air quality… all these things are getting worse and worse for you little humans. 

Here’s the thing Tim (and like-minded others) – you don’t have a Helicopter God. No matter what God you pray to, he/she/it/me is not swinging by on the weekend to catch up. God doesn’t call by every Monday just to see how things are.

I know Tim thinks that it’s like you’ve all had a big house party and wrecked the place and that I’m going to come back from the God Conference in Akron, take one look at the carnage and say, “Well! Kids will be kids. I guess I’ll have to clean this place up for you. Go upstairs, you little scamps and play with your X-Box”.

Nope, not going to happen.

If I do swing by, I am more likely to say, “What in the HELL happened? Last time I was here it was a paradise, now look at it. Clean up this mess now or I’m tanning your hide”.

As a species, you can’t even decide what I look like or what gender I am. How are you supposed to even know who’s going to show up to clean up your mess? Maybe Resheph appears and is like “Dumb humans, keep up the good work.”


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By Old Guy

This is Old Guy' he does forms. He is a little bit Ninja. You can find his videos on YouTube under OldGuyDoingForms and on twitter @oldguydoingfor1 Be nice, he has weapons.

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!