Monkey Life

Dave Moses wins ‘Dad of The Year’ after babysitting his own kids

Glowing tributes poured in yesterday, for Dave Moses, after achieving the auspicious accolade of Dad of the Year, at the Dead Duck pub, New Morden.

With rose petals falling at his feet, Dave shared his inspirational experiences boasting, ‘‘At least once a month I babysit the kids, so my missus can do the weekly shop in peace.’’ He went on to say, ‘‘There’s nothing she loves more than, wandering the aisles, deciding what to cook for dinner.’

Other punters requesting dynamic advice for child nurturing were not disappointed. Suggestions such as trips to McDonalds, shared golf club cleaning, plus watching the live match, were warmly received.

Sadly, a few stalwarts of the dinosaur generations, stood robustly by the notion that Dave was in fact, under the thumb and would soon be sporting an apron. Malcom Sargent commented, ‘‘He’s a disgrace to the working man.’’

Undeterred by the negativity, Dave remained intent on spreading his insight on the new man, ‘’Nowadays, I only play golf three weeks out of four and I take my plate to the dishwasher most evenings, except when I’ve had a few.’’ 

Unfortunately, Dave was slightly disappointed when his wife Tanya failed to roll out the red carpet on his return. Speaking insightfully he mused, ‘’Must be that time of the month.’’

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