Monkey Business

Tragedy at Toshitone Industries after a secretary accidently books The Board into Dignitas, the assisted dying facility, rather than the luxury ski resort of Davos

The financial world was thrown into turmoil last night, after Gillian Napton accidently  booked The Board of Toshitone Industries into the assisted dying facility, Dignitas, by mistake.

Ms Napton was given the responsibility of booking the high powered executives, from one of the world’s largest companies, onto the World Economic Forum held annually at luxury Swiss Ski Resort of Davos. 

She explained, “As I’ve got on a bit I’ve had a bit of trouble with names. I knew it was in Switzerland and that it began with D, so when I saw Dignitas on Google I thought that must be it.”

With all the travel and accommodation booked in advance, under the Deluxe by Dignitas package, the eight executives were taken straight from the airport by chauffeur driven limousine to the clinic.

Once within the grounds the Swiss dispatched The Board with the efficiency of which they are so justifiably proud.

It was an honest mistake, obviously I wouldn’t want to kill the entire board of the company. You don’t think I will get into trouble do you?” asked Gillian.

The companies share price plummeted on news of the disaster. One company spokesperson explained, “You just can’t plan for something like this. I mean some of The Board we were delighted to lose, but there were a couple of stars on the team who are going to be irreplaceable.”

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