Sat. Nov 28th, 2020
Social media faux pas

A West London teenager is suffering from mild shock, after discovering that her Grandmother had posted a photo of her on social media, without any filters.

Traumatised, Sienna Napton informed us she felt ‘humiliated and violated’, upon the ‘horrendous realisation’, that she had been tagged in a family portrait on Facebook.

Speaking from her darkened room, Napton explained, ‘It’s social suicide. I was actually smiling, with my teeth showing. What’s worse is that I didn’t have my eyelashes or hair extensions in and I am long overdue for eyebrow microblading.’

Fearing a plummet in instagram followers, Sienna felt compelled to retreat to the sanctuary of her bedroom. Complaining bitterly, she asserted, ‘Honestly, the grey brigade have no concept of the networking disasters they cause. Who on earth taught her to tag people anyway?’

Unremorseful Grandma Napton chuckled, ‘What’s all the fuss about? A real smile is so much better than these dreadful trout pouts. All this money that’s wasted on paying for lips that resemble a baboon’s arse.’

Following a commissary spray tan, Sienna is expected to make a full recovery.

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By Lady Tamsyn Marie

Lady Tamsyn Marie elegant, charming and more vicious than Mary Poppins

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!