Champions League FinalMonkey Games

Champions League Final nearly as exciting as Bolton v Tadcaster in 1999

It may be a contentious assertion, but several media personalities have stepped forward already to dub Liverpool’s nail-biting 2-0 triumph over Spurs (yes, those guys) in the Champions League Final (no, really, the Champions League Final) the greatest final in the history of the competition.

One popular Welsh pundit, Mr T. Pulis, gave his views, “It was remarkable, Liverpool had a pass completion rate after half time of 59%, even at my peak with Stoke, playing a midfield of Rory Delap and a bit of scaffolding, we could barely get it below 60, amazing stuff.”

Not at all disgraced former England boss Lord Sam Allardyce backed up this assertion, “It was riveting stuff, reminded me of a game we had when I was first at Bolton and we drew 0-0 away with Tadcaster Rovers in the first round of the Rumbellows Cup, the pitch was knee-deep in cow shit and the ball could barely move. There were moments in the final when I thought, Christ, the quality’s almost as good as that.”

Some commentators have questioned the wisdom of Spurs putting English Rose Sir Harold Kane in the team when he didn’t appear to be 100% fit, but Big Sam backed the manager’s decision, “Big soft bastards, his limbs were all still attached and there were moments when he looked almost conscious. Seemed fine to me.”

Elsewhere, in the BT Sport Studios, Michael Owen.

But there’s nothing we can do about that now.

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