Brabantia in a moodMonkey Life

Brabantia-Dragonflower to divorce her parents following ham sandwich row

Negotiators have been drafted in, following a child’s heartfelt appeal to divorce her parents.

In an extraordinary turn of events, Brabantia-Dragonflower Napton felt compelled to initiate proceedings, when her parents refused to allow her to eat a ham sandwich, at the school picnic.

Angered, Napton junior immediately contacted the court of European human rights, to ascertain her position. Reporting her plight, she disclosed, ‘I am a free spirit and will not have my rights infringed by anybody.’

Bewildered, parents Leaf and Olivia Napton have attempted to begin negotiations with their child. Speaking emotionally, Leaf implored Brabantia to see reason, ‘Darling, you are the centre of our worlds. We are in awe of your tenacity sweetie but please remember the inherent danger of meat consumption and the bread wasn’t even artisan or gluten free.’

Steadfast, Napton junior, sought the advice of social services, after speaking with Childline, ‘I won’t surrender until the ham sandwich is mine and why stop there? In fact, I desire a happy meal, with extra fries.’

Ashen, the Naptons were spotted entering Mcdonalds off the north circular, where discussions are expected to ensue long into the night, or at least until bedtime.

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