Monkey News

None of The Above

We don’t normally write Opinion columns, that is not our thing. However, one of our writers was a little irritated at the antics of the political monkeys. He submitted this piece. We sent it back, explaining it was Op Ed rather than satire. He pointed out that Jeremy Clarkson, James May and The Hamster were allowed one serious piece a year. We relented.

We would like to reinforce Colin’s comment that at Chatty we are politically unaffiliated. Whilst many stories are anti-government, that is because they are the government and in a position of power. We welcome submissions from across the political spectrum, (except Tommy Robinson, he can f**k off)

Our considered opinion is that the current crop of politicians, across all parties, are the worst in living memory hence the title “None of The Above.

Without the vaguest hint of irony, MPs who have spent three years haranguing Prime Minister Theresa May, and taking every possible opportunity to stab her in the back, have praised her warmly and applauded her out of the Chamber at the conclusion of her final PMQs.

Jacob Rees-Mogg, who was unable to support the Prime Minister in a vote of confidence in December 2018, was especially warm in his comments.

Westminster, the home of democracy, is on its knees.

How can it be the case that a new Prime Minister, who many regard as unfit to govern, can be elected on the say-so of just 92,000 people? Meanwhile The Civil Servants and other political aides, who will try to keep his foot out of his mouth, have our sympathy.

The new Prime Minister faces all of the same mathematical headaches Mrs May faced. He has no majority to work with. The EU team he will face remains the same, and they are competent. 

We must keep the threat of no deal on the table.” Must we? Why? Where is the value in a negotiation in going to the other side and saying, “If you don’t give me what I want, I’ll shoot myself in the foot. Both feet, actually, and maybe the stomach.” The EU has no reason to change its stance just because they are now sitting opposite a man in need of a good haircut.

Here at Chatty, we have no affiliation to any political label. We aren’t interested in whether MPs call themselves Conservative, Labour or any other name. We care that they are competent, have integrity and speak up for the national interest. Sadly, too many of the current crop have been found lacking.

Most regrettably of all, Brexit continues.


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