A middle aged woman has sparked outrage, as she ‘failed to participate in generic bemoaning of the heatwave.’ 

In an act which has been described as, ‘quite frankly defiant and un-British’, Gillian Napton continued with her everyday duties, in an ‘unflappable’ manner. 

Refusing to jump on the bandwagon, Napton is reported to have, ‘not complained about the lack of air-conditioning, drank water liberally and most repugnantly, refused to join colleagues, seeking solace in the beer garden.’ 

Responding to these claims, Napton, un-phased told us, ‘It’s really not that bad. In fact, I’ve been waiting all year for some decent weather. Long may it last.’ 

Disgusted, a colleague, who wished to remain anonymous, reported, ‘It’s a conspiracy to get a promotion. She was even smiling and following government guidelines. Some nonsense about staying indoors.’ 

Speaking from the pub garden, with his shirt off, he went on to divulge, ‘It’s what makes us British you know. It’s not cricket to just get on with it. I can’t wait for the snow, so I can moan about that too. If you haven’t ordered a fan from Amazon, or at the very least asked to go home early, you’re clearly not the full ticket.’