The national rail service is in chaos due to an unexpected burst of sunny weather. Services as far north as Scotland have been badly hit by the rise in temperatures.

Ian Napton “We were taken completely by surprise. No-one expected warm sunny days in June, July and August. We had prepared for overcast skies, mild drizzle and a general sense of despondency. The rail network just can’t cope with sunshine.”

This has happened at a particularly unfortunate time for the rail industry following on from the disruption caused by last year’s unexpected arrival of winter, and a wet and windy spring.

As passengers were left staring woefully at departure boards littered with cancelled and delayed trains, they wondered who to blame.

The train companies claim that the state of the trains is not their fault but the responsibility of the track operator. Network Rail say they can’t be held responsible as the government won’t let them make enough money to re-invest. The Minister in charge said “Stop your grumbling, our railway privatisation is the best thing to ever happened to it. All those foreign rail companies and their shareholders are making a fortune out of our rail network, which is good for someone.”

Meanwhile the public continue to enjoy the most expensive and least reliable train service in Europe and were left to wonder why no-one in the railway industry can follow a weather forecast.

Brexit continues.