Sat. Sep 25th, 2021
Gran on Tinder

The trial of the Contact Tracing App was cancelled after the designer’s Gran accidentally signed up to Tinder.

Mabel Napton (68) was very proud that her Grandson, Ian, designed the Government’s Covid-19 contact tracing app. As a show of support, she bought a mobile phone and downloaded the app. The sign-up process was simple, and after entering basic details and posting a picture of herself, she was good to go.  

Mabel Napton

“I was very impressed, you could see from all the lovely faces how popular the app was. When I swipe left or right there are lots more pictures of handsome men. It wasn’t until I started getting very personal messages that I began to wonder. For a start, people didn’t seem to understand social distancing rules, and I didn’t understand all the words they were using. I had to look some of them up, that was a revelation, I can tell you.”

It was only when Ian asked Gran how she was getting on with the app that he realised something wasn’t right.

“It was only after I checked her phone that I realised what had happened. I am not sure I’ll ever get over it! She’s my Gran, she’s not supposed to know all those words, and some of the things she was talking about doing… well! It’s disgusting!” said a traumatised Ian.

Meanwhile, Grandma says she is keeping the app and is looking forward to meeting Nine Inch Nigel for ‘Fun and Games’.

Nigel Farage
it’s this big


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By Bernard

Bernard has been with us since the beginning. Bright, funny and blessed with a sharp satirical edge are things he wish had been said about him.

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!