Sun. May 22nd, 2022

A no-effort spared investigation can reveal that the former Justice Minister, Chris Grayling, is The Secret Barrister.

Where's Wally

The Secret Barrister

Since the SB took to Twitter, in May 2015, Chris Grayling featured regularly as a target for Secret’s legendary wit, point by point repudiation, withering sarcasm and evident disdain.  Many a breakfast has been disturbed by the reading out of Secret’s latest deconstruction of Grayling’s devastation of the legal system.

The growth in the popularity of the @BarristerSecret account suggests public approval for this approach.

However, sources close to the former minister have revealed that it was all a cunning ruse, designed to throw would-be investigators off the scent.

A sauce

When Mr Grayling became Justice Minister, he was so appalled at the establishment’s mismanagement of the legal system that drastic action was required. Like Jim Hacker before him, his daily battles with civil servants proved to be futile. In desperation, he created The Secret Barrister as an outlet for his anger and frustration.

The Honourable Mr Grayling hatched a cunning plan, in order to force systemic reform. Whenever a ministerial decision was required, he took the wrong one.  The aim was to break the system, each ‘cock-up’ would be amusingly highlighted by his Twitter alter ego, and the resulting furore would force the government to fix the problem. Sadly, this cunning plan failed.

“He thought if people knew what was going on in the Justice System, an informed and engaged public would demand big changes. How wrong he was.”

A Government shill

One consolation for this selfless politician is that the best-selling book; Stories of The Law and How It’s Broken, has generated such stupendous wealth that Secret is now able to retire from the law, and concentrate on a burgeoning gavel supply business, “Whose Knocking Ltd”.

Judge rules in favour of politicians

Get your gavels at Whose Knocking Ltd

Meanwhile, there is no justice.

Read it, it’s a rip roaring, bodice-ripping, blockbuster of a book!

You can buy Secret Barrister themed goodies at The Chatty Chimp Shop

All clothing is 100% Organic, printed in the UK in a factory powered by renewables. When your shirt is worn out, you can return it and it will be used to make new clothes, and you will get a £5 discount voucher.

Every item in this collection earns a donation for the Free Representation Unit.

Please do not buy this clothing as a means of giving to the FRU. If you want to support their valuable work, please give your money directly to them, they need it.

This range exists to support and promote the work of @BarristerSecret. We believe that without a fit for purpose legal system, society and democracy are in danger, and it will be ordinary citizens who will suffer as a result. To that end, understanding the law is essential to building a fairer society and @BarristerSecret work is vital in making the law understandable.


The Secret Barrister is a Legal Weapon!


By The Chatty Chump

Given his name by The Editor for good reason, although both parties refuse to speak of it. Lucky to still have a tyre swing.

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!