Tue. Jan 25th, 2022

Following the unexplained success of Mrs Brown’s Boys, the BBC is to cancel their remaining funny shows.

Programme commissioners will concentrate on re-booting tired old sit-coms, promoting non-challenging writing and aim to reflect the ‘spirit of the nation’.

Since 2012, the country has moved on. Now people want comedy that reminds them of the good old days. In fact, we intend to bring back the Good Old Days. The reality is that from January, we will be a sovereign nation, and we must reflect that. This means delivering the racist, homophobic and sexist comedy the people want.

Lord O’Mosley, incoming BBC Dictator General

The BBC Right Entertainment Department will make some exciting new World War Two comedies to complement their range of World War Two dramas and endless history documentaries about how we won the war.

Naturally, left-wing comedians are in an uproar. “But, but, but..I’ve just got a mortgage on a London Townhouse” spluttered Nish Kumar. While Geoff Norcott will take delivery of a new Ferrari.

The exciting new schedule will include such funny shows as; It Aint ‘Alf A Hot Milf, The Posh Street Kids and the Jim Davidson Show.

There will be a new series of The Royle Family, starring the actual Royal Family. Some old favourites will undergo a make-over. The Daily Mash will become The Daily Mail and

Mock the Week will change to Mock The Weak.

And Dara O’Brien will be deported.

Meanwhile, the Government continues.

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Deja Poo: I’ve seen this shit before

By Joe The Greek

Joe The Greek is a man of many words and considerable girth. Never shy when it comes to the bar and buffet table.

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!