Prince Andrew on MillionaireMonkey Business

Ex-Prince Andrew pays out millions despite having done nothing wrong

The American Legal system shows there is justice for all those who can afford to pay for it. Lawyers for the disgraced Prince Andrew pay out millions of dollars to a young woman, in another country, because he did nothing wrong.

Look, can I just say that paying out more money than I have is in no way related to my desire not use the showers in B Wing. Any idea that this is an admission that I did something wrong is utter rubbish. In fact, if anyone makes that suggestion, they should bear in mind that if I had any money left, I’d bally well sue them! So there!

He is an ex-Prince

Meanwhile the anonymous young lady, whose face has been in the papers for months and months, was delighted that the former Prince has lost his job, status and all of his money.

Obviously, as a result of the settlement I can’t comment on the outcome of the case, wink, wink. Come on, you know he did it, don’t you?

Anonymous Woman, Now rich enough to buy Wales

Without any sense of irony Handsy Andy, as part of the settlement, has pledged to give money and support to charities working with victims of abuse and sexual trafficking. What could go wrong?

I just want to put all this behind me and get back to being the same arrogant, over-entitled, little shit I’ve always been.

Persona Non Grata

Meanwhile, at the Daily Mail the allegations against Andy were dismissed as more woke bullshit, as they ask, “Isn’t Andrew the real victim here? Surely, a son of the monarch should be treated with the respect he deserves?”

But that’s exactly what we are doing!

Satirists and Comedians everywhere.

The Mail went on to argue that if rich, connected and entitled white men couldn’t get away with doing whoever they liked, what was the point of it all?

Meanwhile, his close personal friend and not daughter of the Queen, Ghislaine Maxwell, continues to rot away in jail. Which, ironically, is something her pension robbing father managed to avoid.

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