Monkey News

Trump wants to build more terrific walls

Following the complete success of his first ‘bigly’ wall, Trump Builders Inc (Walls) are looking at European expansion.

Sarah Wannabee, WH spokesperson, explained, “Donald has been practising in his bedroom with his Lego set, and he’s really getting good at walls. Using his crayons, he’s identified several opportunities for new walls; North Africa, Ireland, Scotland, Germany, and China could all benefit from having “another prick in the wall”.

Spain, Italy and Greece were very keen on the North African wall idea, seeing this as a way to stop the flood of economic migrants/desperate refugees (delete as appropriate) into Europe. As they’ve no money left, they are particularly keen on “Getting the Africans to pay for it.”

The North African nations were not happy with the plan, Mohammad said, “This is really going to hurt us, it’ll devastate our sales of ‘Tat and Trinkets’ on Mediterranean Beaches and my Uncle’s dingy business will be particularly badly hit.”

Theresa May excitedly requested a quote for an Irish Wall. Apparently she’s very keen on a ‘hard’ soft wall. The plan is to “agree” to build a ‘hard’ wall to separate Eire from Norn’ Ireland, but not actually build it, thus allowing the Irish to go back and forward across ‘the border’, as they currently do. The 50 year transition period will ensure this becomes somebody else’s problem.

The Prime Minister believes this as an excellent opportunity to lose hundreds of millions of pounds for absolutely no benefit whatsoever. A hallmark of her government’s policies.

Critics point out Donald’s “Keep the Mexicans Out Wall” was yet to have a brick laid. Sarah Wannabee, explained, “The delay was caused by the difficulty in rounding up enough illegal immigrants to work on it. Ironically, The President’s plan has hit a brick wall.”

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