Tue. Jan 25th, 2022

Sympathy is beginning to mount for the gathering misfortune faced by Mother Theresa May.

As she wanders through the hallowed halls of Westminster, she remains devout in her mission to convert anyone who will listen, to her Brexit bible.

Followers in her flock are few and far between, renouncing their beliefs in favour of the Brexiteer soothsayer and Devil Incarnate, Jacob Rees-Mogg or virtually anyone else.

Selflessly sacrificing herself to the altar in Brussels, Mother Theresa May altruistically intends to forge on with her mission to do the bidding of the British public as it is the only way she can hang on to power.

Insider information cunningly leaked, suggests that in preparation for her pilgrimage, each evening she has been praying benevolently into her rosary beads of faithless, hopeless and no charity whatsoever.

With the season of miracles fast approaching, May is desperately hoping that she will find room at the Inn, or at the very least hang onto Chequers for the party season. With mission impossible hanging heavy on her shoulders, May is hoping for a cabinet resurrection, or a stable one, or possibly anyone to have faith in her.


By Lady Tamsyn Marie

Lady Tamsyn Marie elegant, charming and more vicious than Mary Poppins

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!