Fake Balsamic Vinegar on BruschettaMonkey Business

Fake Balsamic Vinegar; middle-class shoppers offered counselling

Fake Balsamic Vinegar has entered the food supply chain resulting in middle class foodies becoming traumatised at the thought of having used unbranded vinegar.

Up market retailers were quick to reassure customers that they were doing everything they could to make sure the issue was resolved as quickly as possible.

Waitrose spokesman, Ian Napton, explained, “Initially we were shocked. We can’t have customers thinking we buy any old rubbish, stick a fancy label on it and then charge a huge mark up, just because we’re ‘upmarket’.”

Meanwhile, one customer was quick to step forward. Jocasta Williamson said; “I’m so ashamed. We had an intimate dinner party with Hugh, Penelope and a few friends. I’d prepared Nigella’s Bruschetta recipe, it was absolutely dripping in  Balsamic Vinegar.” 

“But, the following morning, when I looked on Facebook and Insta, there was nothing. Usually, I’d see beautiful pictures and fabulous comments telling me how wonderful I am. I had to cancel my Tai Chi, I was so embarrassed. The fake Balsamic Vinegar is the only explanation.”

Waitrose released this statement; “We do understand the complex emotional and psychological impact that results from using poor quality Italian vinegar. The mild disapproval of friends and family can be intensely distressing. Therefore we are offering counselling and support to our customers at this difficult time.” 

Additionally, the store confirmed there is no refund option. The high price of Balsamic Vinegar means it goes against company policy to give money back.

If you’ve been affected by this story, please seek help. Although, don’t go to Waitrose, they don’t have counsellors.

The Origin of The Fake Balsamic Vinegar story

The seizure of £13 million worth of fake Balsamic Vinegar, by the Italian Authorities, highlights how profitable this business is to the counterfeit industry. It’s the pretentious reputation of the product that drew our attention.


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