Thu. Oct 29th, 2020
Architectural award for tarmac covered field

Consternation in Eastbourne as an exciting new arts and theatre complex wins the countries top architectural prize. The award of The Napton, given to the new building or installation that best exemplifies use of material and space in a contemporary setting; is seen as a major endorsement of the council’s controversial £320 Million cultural hub project. 

However, critics, Philistines and other illiterati, claim this is the council wasting the people’s money, once again. There was much local opposition to the Mayor’s vanity project.

Gav from Eastbourne said, “Art installation, arse installation more like. All they’ve done is tarmac over a perfectly good football pitch. My kids used to play on it when we took the dog out, he liked to shit on the penalty spot.”

Architectural Judge, Jocasta Brabantia, “We felt this was a stunning and innovative use of light and space. The consumer enjoys an unbounded feeling of liberation, subsequently experiencing the occupancy of the space. One finds the viewer bound to the way the structure changes and responds to its outside environs. It makes one feel alive. As for the change of use, who wants children running around a field covered in dog poo? most unhygienic.”

She added, “The judges commended the inherent potentiality of the structure. Importantly, the possibility of the space being whatever the user defined it to be. This meant it was truly ‘of the people’. Now if the brat runs around playing football, its art.”

Gav, again, “You’re taking the piss, right? £320 Million to tarmac a field, my mate would have done it for a grand, he had a load left from some resurfacing they were doing.”


The Origins of the Architectural Award Story

This one came out of the presentation of an award to the design of Hastings Pier. The hyperbole can be seen in this article. http://drmm.co.uk/projects/view.php?p=hastings-pier-redevelopment award

Breaking down the judges definition, it says, ‘they boarded it over’. Now the owner plans to build on it, so he can actually use it for something. 

It isn’t the first time we have had pop at award ceremonies; https://chattychimp.com/2018/12/27/the-pointless-awards-ceremony-honouring-corporate-ineptitude/

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