Monkey News

Brexit has been delayed until tomorrow

The EU has become frustrated at Britain’s repeated request for Brexit extensions. Donald Tusk’s stole the Prime Minister’s headlines by suggesting a flextension, Not to be outdone, Theresa May has come up with a cunning plan of her own. Brexit is to be delayed until tomorrow.

Inadvertently, the PM appears to have stumbled on the perfect solution to the Brexit deadlock. The idea that tomorrow never comes pleases everyone.

The Prime Minister’s cunning plan is acceptable to remainers as Britain will never actually leave the EU. On the other hand the Brexiteers are delighted, because they know exactly when the UK will rid itself of EU interference. 

The key to the plans success is that as Brexit day is set and it can’t be extended.

This agreement brings to an end three years of bitter disagreement. It also reassures everyone that nothing will actually change. Many observers are convinced that this is what everyone wanted in the first place. 

Both sides claim they are respecting the wishes of the referendum, so saving democracy. More importantly, it allows Brexiteers to have their two weeks in Ibiza, whilst the remainers can continue to visit Tuscany.

Press reaction has been mixed. The Mail says ‘Theresa has displayed the wisdom of Solomon’, The Telegraph argues the solution couldn’t have been reached without Boris’s intervention and the BBC News team gave Laura Kuenssburg a redundancy notice.

Jeremy Corbyn said, “Oh! bollocks! that wasn’t supposed to happen

Meanwhile Brexit continues.

 


The Origins of the Brexit Tomorrow Story

This story came about as  Britain once again managed to make itself a laughing stock. The Government has had nearly three years to come up with a Brexit plan, however so shambolic are they that we have requested repeated extensions. Having agreed an extension with the EU, we are now asking for an extension on the extension, with no guarantee we will be any further forward by then. 

And so the idea of having Brexit tomorrow, was born. 

This is not our first go at a Brexit Solution story. https://chattychimp.wordpress.com/2018/12/22/brexit-problem-solved-by-having-one-weeks-no-brexit-one-weeks-soft-brexit-and-finally-a-good-hard-one/

Here is CNN’s view on the latest request for an extension; https://edition.cnn.com/2019/04/05/uk/theresa-may-brexit-extension-gbr-intl/index.html

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