Stoned to deathMonkey Business

Gays get stoned but not in a good way

Following on from Facebook’s appointment of Nick Clegg, other despotic personality cults have been looking to employ ex-leaders of the Liberal Democrats.

Their former leader Tim Farron, has resurfaced after laying low for a while. Now unexpectedly employed as the Home Secretary in Brunei, his centrepiece policy decision “Gays to be stoned to death” was unveiled by his new boss, The Sultan, yesterday.

“I thought it was odd that they should invite me over,” Farron said, “but when we got chatting, it turned out we had rather a lot in common, especially the “death to gay people who have sex” thing. I’d heard that they could be a bit harsh out there, so it was lovely to see they were so accommodating of my Christian values. We agreed that being stoned to death was the right policy. Reasonable policies from reasonable people.”

A spokesman for the Lib Dems, Ian Napton, said, “Idiot.”

A further religiot, this time for the Church, said, “What wonderful proof that people of different faiths can live in harmony and under the shared belief that God really hates Gays.”

The Sultan of Brunei was said to be  delighted to add such a prominent British politician to his staff. He’s looking forward to seeing his country take its place amongst the worlds leading barbaric religious states; Saudi Arabia, Indonesia and America.

We are excited to bring Brunei into the 14th Century. The sultanate is keen to welcome the leaders of the other death cults, The Pope and The Archbishop of Canterbury, for a summit on religious unity.” 

The Origins of the Stoned to Death Story

Here at Chatty, our chimps are frequently puzzled by the beliefs of religiots. Whilst we think having your own personal belief and using it as a guide to live your life is your choice, enforcing that choice on others is unacceptable. When your choice calls for the barbaric death of others you lose your right to have your religious views respected.

The introduction of the barbaric stoning of gays is an affront to modern life. That other religions share strong prejudices against homosexuality cannot be ignored. Hence, this story.

That Lib Dem leader Tim Farron, resigned because of his religious views, fitted in nicely. Farron Resignation

This is not the first time we have referred to the major worlds religions as death cults;

Ironic they are all so obsessed with other peoples naughty bits, given their record.

Categories:Monkey Business

Tagged as: , , ,