Hat Stand more useful than a councillorMonkey Business

Hat Stand wins seat on council in local election

Conservatives faced their biggest backlash yet, when a hat stand won by a landslide, in the Tandridge district local elections.

Demoralized Tandridge locals, used their ballot papers, to emphasise their seething mistrust in Tory tactics, by favouring an inanimate object, claiming it was at least ‘fit for purpose.’

Following years of misrepresentation, Mr Hat Stand convincingly offered locals a more robust, reliable future. After placing her vote, Gillian Napton passionately told us, ‘Mr Hat is a mature, upstanding member of the community, with a sturdy backbone. He’s been supporting family needs for years and can definitely tell the wood from trees. Unlike the last lot, at least he does something useful.’’

With growing concern at Conservatives’ lack of direction, the exasperated community, took it upon themselves to propose and back their own candidate- one who would tackle local issues more effectively.

A triumphant statement released after the victory, set forth Mr Stand’s ongoing objectives, ‘I’d like to thank everyone who voted for me. I pledge to offer the neighbourhood many years of unfaltering, solid services.’

Following Hat’s success both of the main parties have already revamped their shortlists for the European’s in a few weeks time. Labour are putting up a Chest of Drawers in Hartlepool and the Tories have a Welsh Dresser standing against Nigel Farage in the South East constituency.

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